Best advice for new moms (best read before becoming one)

Through the hormones, the sleepless nights, the constant worry for your baby to be well, the need to cry (sometimes or all the time), the attempt to get some sleep and something to eat (really anything as long as it’s edible), here I am, just passed my 4th trimester (baby is almost 5 months old now) telling you to also secure some you time. But as much as you want to scream at me right now, I stand by my words.

From the moment we got home from the hospital I didn’t imagine being away from my son, not even for a minute. I thought I needed to watch hi every move, be there for anything he may need and really, just constantly making sure he is breathing.

My husband was the one insisting I take a bit of time, so I started going for walks and listening to a podcast while having an ice-cream or a coffee. It felt good (once I managed to shake off the guilt), it felt like motherhood stopped for a bit and I was simply an adult that was listening to a podcast and enjoying a cup of coffee. It felt like a restart and I knew I could go back and do it again: the feeding, the rocking, the nappies, all of it.

So get away from time to time

Whether it’s your partner, a family member or a friend, ask them to look after the baby for a while so you can take a break. I have seen mothers trying to do it all as anything less would be a failure. So far from the truth! Never be afraid to ask for help, it’s an act of courage to ask for what you need and taking a break from your child is the best thing you can do to be a good mom.

What will you do with your time alone?

Depending on when you’re reading this, if it’s before your bundle of joy has arrived, then you are lucky as you can make a mental note of all the things you could be doing for half an hour to help you relax. I am sure you can think of many things now. But, if you’re like me, already had your baby and you’re at a loss, here are some ideas that may work for you:

• Do some meditation or yoga
• Go for a short walk
• Go shopping
• Run some errands (may sound boring, but it can actually be refreshing)
• Meet a friend for coffee
• Take a long shower and do your old skin routine or blow dry your hair.

Once M was here, I started keeping my hair in a messy bun all the time. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, it was a reflex. I would tie it as soon as I got out of the shower while my hair was still wet and it would slowly air dry (really slowly as all of it was tied in a bun). My boy was probably 2 months old when, during one of his naps, I blow dried my hair and arranged it a little bit. Once my baby woke up and was fed, we went for a walk, with me leaving my hair down. I felt… beautiful, put together, powerful, I was probably smiling the whole time. It really is the little things.

Whatever it is, I suggest prioritizing things that require you to leave the house. I don’t know exactly what it is, but it has always helped me more to get some me time away from the house. One explanation might be that the house is where you baby most probably is and you may cave in and go be with them or maybe it’s because it’s the place where there is always a chore pending and you can’t really fully relax there.

Motherhood is beautiful, no doubt, but so hard sometimes. Whatever you can do to help you get through the tough times easier, you need to remember to do it. And taking some alone time needs to be at the top of your list.

Leave a comment with what you’ve done for yourself since having your baby or, if you’re an expecting mom - what is it you hope you’ll do.

Writing this, I realized I never really thanked my husband for pushing me to leave the house, otherwise I would have never considered it and boy, how much it helped. I am now giving this advice forward, hoping it will help you too.

Leave your hair down from time to time. :)

Much love,

Anna